Blood Run Cold
by BRMCluv
Summary: Seeing Li and knowing that he is the new Fire Lord and isn't even Li at all makes Jin wish she was dead. So she decides she her heart will stop beating and her blood will run cold and she will die here, underneath the fountain where they kissed. One-shot.


No copyright infringement intended. Present-tense third-person omnicent.

* * *

It is Jin's favorite time of day, in her favorite place: the back room at sunset. She sits at the dusty vanity and lets out her tight braid, brushing it in the golden flush coming through the window behind her. This is her favorite time of day because as she lets her plaited hair free, she can feel her tense body unwinding, and the practical working-girl now of marrying age can surrender herself to girlish daydreams and memories of the past.

When Jin is satisfied with her hair, she sets her brush down and stands up, preparing to draw the curtains shut. But something in the golden scene outside catches her eye and the breath in her throat. She swallows hard and draws the curtain hastily, shutting out the sunset and the city of Ba Sing Se.

What Jin had seen was a couple strolling arm in arm, and she is ashamed to find she is thinking about Li. It has been a month since she spent the evening with the scarred boy, and she has since tried to forget it. It isn't like her to be so preoccupied with a boy, one that she hasn't even seen in a month.

Suddenly Jin whirls arouond and snatches aside the curtains. She _has_ to see those people again, she _must _remind herself that there is such a thing as love, and if she could just forget Li she would have it again.

But the couple is gone.

Jin peers closely out the window and at the women who have taken the young couple's place. A group of impeccably well-dressed women are huddled close together. Jin looks enviously at their clothes and figures, as they gossip about the passersby.

All of the sudden, a man passes by. He is rich and good-looking, and the girls all notice this. They straighten up and smile brightly at him. They lean in inviting ways and a few preen with their hair. The man slows down and lets his eyes travel down the line of girls before stepping towards one in the middle. _Oh, they must be in love,_ Jin thinks, sighing softly. She rests her chin on her hand and expects to see a romance unfold

The man reaches into his pocket. Jin watches as he pulls something out. _A ring, a gift?_ Jin is certain whatever it is will be expensive and beautiful. Instead, he pulls out...coins? Money? He gives it to the girl and they walk away.

Jin lets the curtain slip through her fingers and fall back into place. She knows who they are now.

But...the women look so beautiful! Healthy, happy! The man isn't old or gross either, and...these _are _modern times, in the city of Ba Sing Se, the kingdom of the future! Surely what the man and woman are about to do isn't _that_ bad. Surely he loves her.

Jin sits down and studies herself closely in the mirror. She thinks about the many, many times she's tried walking past Li's tea shop in her prettiest dress, never getting up the courage to enter... Tears spring up in her eyes as she remembers how angry he was after their one date, and the helplessness and guilt she felt the day she passed the tea shop and it was all boarded up.

_I'm not naive_, Jin thinks, leaning into the mirror to study her youthful face. _I know what those girls were doing, and I know how most people feel about it._ But Jin just can't stop thinking about Li, and she thinks that maybe if she pursues this idea that is taking shape in her head, she can make that night with Li happen over and over and over again. People, like that rich man, will look at her with love, and they will be a thousand times better than anything with Li.

Jin stands up slowly and smiles at herself. She knows now what she wants to do with her life.

* * *

It has only been a few weeks, but Jin feels as if she has aged a decade. This job is _not_ what she thought it would be, not at all. There are no young, rich boys waiting to sweep her off her feet. Just smelly old ones that aren't gentle and don't tip. And even when she tells everyone, even her customers, that she is scared, that she wants to get out, to go back home, to _leave_, no one listens. She figures she is stuck.

Losing contact with the outside world, she shuts down. Goes on auto-pilot. Forgets about everything and just gets up, serves her customers, and goes back to bed at night. Numb.

On the day the war ends, everyone dances in the streets and embraces eachother. Jin keeps on walking, because she just doesn't care. And on the day the activists arrive and the ceremony is scheduled to begin, she attends the festival not to catch a glimpse of the new Fire Lord, the "peaceful" one, but because she knows there will be lots of men there and that means good business.

She takes her place in the crowd and sullenly looks up at the stage. She just wants to get _in_ and _out_, and if she doesn't find any customers, too bad. This is a waste of time for her, a nuicance, a...

The Fire Lord takes the stage. When he steps out, Jin sees that it is Li, introducing himself as Fire Lord Zuko. And Jin feels like she wants to die.

* * *

Arriving at the great fountain, Jin sinks to her knees. She covers her teary eyes with her hands and wants to die, wants to die. Seeing Li makes her want to throw up, and knowing that he is the new Fire Lord and that he probably forgot all about her getting there makes her wish she was dead. So she decides she is going to bow her head and clench her eyes shut and imagine that she is dissapearing piece by piece, and then her heart will stop beating and her blood will run cold and she will die right here underneath the fountain where they kissed.

Except it doesn't really work, so in a few hours Jin picks herself up and decides to get drunk instead.

* * *

Everyone from work is talking about the Fire Lord. All the women think he is _so cute_. It makes Jin's head pound more than the ale in her hand.

She plunks herself down next to a group of gushers and licks her lips. "Ya know, I once h-had him for a..." Here, she hiccups and takes another swig. "...a customer. An' it really wasn't tha' bad." Jin giggles, but all the women do is roll their eyes.

"Yeah, right, sweetie." One of them says. Another pats Jin's hand in fake sympathy. "You might want to lay off the drink, hon, just for _tonight_."

Jin slams the bottle down on the table and gets up on shaky legs. "Fine. You don' believe me? Well..." Jin turns around and walks briskly out the door. "Whatever." she mutters.

It's dark. Jin can barely see where she's going, but she can hear just fine. And what she hears right now is the clip-clop of ostriche-horse hooves behind her, carrying a noble in a carriage. Despite her drunkeness and her sorrow, Jin turns herself around, plasters on a big, welcoming smile, and prepares herself for her next customer.


End file.
